When Family becomes a four Letter Word

Family life can be extremely disturbing. When a child is the focus of the family unit’s negativity and shadow personality, that individual ends up disturbed and emotionally crippled.

Blame is such an easy way to relieve oneself of guilt and shame that isn’t necessarily deserved.

But to realize one has reached an impasse in the relationship with family, and that the person understands there is no connecting, it is the time to say, “I’m done.”

Parents have a significant impact on their children. They are the first and most influential characters in their life.

When the dynamic of the family individual and parent relationship is not based on trust and security, that individual out of hard habit, will have the utmost difficulty in trusting the parents, and consequently others in life.

Family life depends on communication. Where communication is non-existant, only conflict exists.

To have one individual of the family black-balled as the bad egg will turn that individual into a bad egg, and not necessarily because that person was one, but more along the lines of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

A mother who believes she is helping her son, when in reality is serving her obsessive delusions and blames the son for not accepting her love is put into what is called a double bind.

The son learns to not trust himself, yet he cannot trust his mother. He knows she is wrong, but to say so evokes retaliation in a never-ceasing vicious cycle of verbal arguments and angry feelings toward one another.

What is the black sheep to do when he rejects his family for valid reasons and is crippled by the reasons mentioned, and is incapable of finding a surrogate family?  That person becomes isolated and alienated unless the cycle can be broken.

Our family system in America is dysfunctional. My words aren’t anything new or special or insightful.

But when is it  the time, if ever, for the bad egg to be heard and understood and validated for the wrongly accused and ostracised individual he was and has become?

There isnt much else to say, to say much more wouldn’t be healthy.

One must accept the reality that sometimes family just isn’t for them, and move on.  Forgive, understand, and forget; and move on. No justice will be found there.