My husband and I always seem to surprise people when we tell them we are happily married. They just can’t figure it out. Either they have never seen happily married people in their lives or they think we are lying.
Both of us have been married before. So we came into this marriage with the knowledge that we would not always agree thus this put us one up on the newlyweds and those who fight constantly. Truth is we agree to disagree thus we learned the art of compromise.
We have had people tell us we appear happy. In this instance appearances aren’t deceiving. How people see us when we’re together is how we actually are when we’re alone.
Being happy together shouldn’t be surprising. The love and respect that we have for each other is real. We take our marriage vows seriously and don’t let other of life’s woes interfere with that.
Making time for just the two of us is sometimes hard but it’s something we do on a regular basis to reconnect. We try to spend an afternoon or evening occasionally to talk, usually about nothing of utmost importance but it keeps the communication alive.
People can see we’re happy in our body language as we do simple things like hold hands or how we smile at each other. Maybe it could just be the way we have fun and laugh while grocery shopping.
I have had people say, “What do you do when you and your husband fight?” They are surprised when my response is, “We don’t.” We talk things out like adults. I can count on one hand the times we have reached a point where our voices have been raised and anger was rising. We have been together 15 years so I consider that very few times.
The surprise probably comes because my husband is 16 years older than me. I have come to respect his opinion, as he has never steered me wrong. He has also let me grow as a person by giving me respect and encouraging my pursuits in being the person I want to be. We have grown together as a couple.
My daughter’s friends loved coming to the house to stay over night. When I asked, “Why do they always seem to end up at our house?” She would proudly reply, “Because you and Dad don’t argue and they have fun here.” We always had her friends spending the night and even going on vacation with us. They even stay in touch since they have graduated from high school.
I believe that the secret to being happily married is communication and trusting your spouse. That is the foundation we have built our marriage on. We don’t have to deal with petty jealousy or ranting at each other. We have similar interest is just about everything. Most of all we respect that each of us needs our own space and time.
The next time you hear of someone being happily married don’t scoff at the idea or be surprised just remember that it is possible.