There have been books, movies, and thousands of Magazine features on the mystery of, “What Women Really Want”. It has proved to be one of the questions that men struggle with their entire life. Even the long time married man often ponders what his wife is actually wanting or thinking. The answer is simple, most of us women do not even know what we want exactly, and if we do know, then it is still subject to change. This of course is common knowledge, and widely accepted, women simply are entitled to change their minds, and quite often they do. Times have evolved and the wants of women have adapted with the new era of women’s rights, but there are still a few universal and commonly shared wants that women possess that will always stay the same.
In the 50’s it was common for women to be raised to think that a good life consisted of finding a stable suitor, getting married to a man with a solid job, having a family, and staying at home to rear the children. This idea has extremely changed over the years and women have come to realize that what they want from life does not have to be what they were “taught” by family to do.
Through many years of women’s movements and a new found sense of empowerment, what women want out of life has drastically changed. However, there are still a few universal subjects that the majority of women will agree upon wanting, such as a good man, a job we actually want to get up in the morning and go to, and to feel accepted and pretty for who we are.
Every women has an ideal man in mind that she dreams of finding one day and marrying. The stereotype of this fantasy man would be that he has a good job, he is attractive, attentive, understanding, kind, slow to anger, romantic, courageous, thoughtful, strong, sensitive, and shows interest and passion for the things she likes to do. Well, these men are out there, but unfortunately they tend to be gay men that turn out to be our best friends, not our dream husbands. Although it is great to have the male in our life that likes to go shopping, and will actually notice our new hair cut, and listen to us whine about PMS, a friend is no substitute for the man we seek to marry and have a an intimate relationship with.
Not to discourage anyone, there are great men out there that possess some of the universal qualities we look for, but no man is perfect, and that “dream man” just does not exist. Thankfully, women find this out at an early age, and then what we want often changes and we settle for the man that can make us happy, be there in times of trouble, and try their best to understand the complicated world of women’s emotional needs.
Men also need to understand that women in this day and age have a strong desire to make their own way. The old fashioned stay- at- home mom still exists, but is less likely to be truly what a women wants to do with her life. We want to accomplish our dreams, go to college, get a degree, and be successful at whatever tasks we set out to do. In these times, most women strive for the “independant” title. We would prefer to provide at least half, if not more of the family income through our own hard work, education, and determination.
With this revolution of the hard working women pursuing her dreams and career, men need to realize that in order to give a women what she wants, he needs to support her in every aspect he can. Whether it be helping out more around the house, taking on more child raising responsibilities, or even just showing that he believes in her ability to seek her own fulfillment in life. This can be hard for some men, as they were likely brought up to understand that they should be the provider for their family, be the hard worker that comes home to a clean house and a home cooked meal after a long day at work. But, if men really want to know what women want, then they need to realize that times have changed, and so have midsets of women in society. A good man will help his partner in every aspect of pursuing her dream career, and be there unconditionally for support and reassurance.
Furthermore, if men need to know one thing about what women really want then they have to realize the most basic of all human needs. We want to feel wanted. But more than that, women want to feel special, and pretty. Many men do not understand this concept simply because often times they honestly believe the women they are with is the most beautiful women in the world. Whether she is wearing no makeup and sweats, a man in love will still find her attractive as always. But, most women do not feel the same way.
We just can not feel pretty sometimes in sweats or pajamas. We like to wear makeup, no matter how many times a man may say we do not need to. High heels, a pretty outfit, makeup, and doing our hair, not only can make us feel good, but it is what we “want”. So, although telling a women she still looks beautiful when she is sick, or complimenting her on how good she looks in her workout sweats is a very well meaning gesture, give more compliments when we do have the time to put on makeup and make ourselves feel pretty. Because no matter what a man may say to us, or how much he adores us, unless we feel pretty about ourselves, no words of adoration can help in achieving what we really want.
Although, the question of “What women really want” will never be directly defined in a dictionary or any handbook that men can use to find the answer, there is no sense in spending energy trying to figure it out. Every man knows the general guidelines, and it is also common knowledge that women change their minds…..a lot. What we want one week, may change the next. Or the ambitions we have for life we are so adiment about may change into wanting to stay at home and raise a family after all. So, the best advice for men out there seeking the holy grail of understanding women might just be to go with the flow, and remember the very iconic saying, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”.