If you suspect your husband is doing drugs, would you ask him, or do you just let him do it? Then why can’t you ask him if he is cheating on you?
This is a serious offense but you are not sure so don’t jump to conclusions. The first thing you should do is sit down and ask him face to face. Don’t try this over the phone. You need to see his face and his reaction.
If you suspect it, then your imagination is probably on overdrive right now, sniffing his underwear, checking through the cell phone or maybe even following him to work in the mornings. Don’t put your life at risk for an assumption. You need to be sure or you are just stressing over nothing and making yourself sick in the process.
The most important thing to remember right now, is please take care of you. If you have children, take care of them. Whether or not your husband is cheating, he is doing fine and probably is not as stressed over this as you are anyway. You have to take care of yourself and your family because your children don’t deserve to be exposed to anything negative between parents. They look up to you guys. So please keep them out of this. They are innocent bystanders.
Let’s go over a few things and see what we can find out. First of all, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage because we are not perfect people. It’s an illusion. The prince never showed up at your door on white horse, Cinderalla is a fairy tale and the closest you got to being a princess was when you mother bought you that tiara when you were four. It’s all made up. But we love happy endings, and those are possible in a marriage.
There are many reasons marriage fails. But the one reason that seems to be unforgivable for many women is adultery.
First of all, a man is very different from a woman and it doesn’t take science to tell us that but in this case, it’s needed. Scans have been made to research the differences in a man’s and a woman’s brains and when you see these differences, you will be enlightened as to why men behave the way they do and why they cheat.
A man’s brain allows him to act first and think about it later. A man also has an instinct to conquer and is always ready for sex. And a woman’s natural instinct is to like that in a man. So technically, we have been egging the man on to chase us and when we get married, we ask him to stop and essentially go against his nature.
Men are visual creatures, while women are stimulated by feelings and emotions, smells, touch, etc. It is therefore a woman’s responsibility to keep him sexually interested. In no way does this exonerate him from cheating, if he is, but marriage is a partnership and you have a responsibility to him as he does to you.
Ask yourself this question; why do you think he is cheating?
Have there been any serious changes in your marriage lately? Or have you gone through any serious personal changes lately?
If everything is exactly the same as it was before you had these suspicions, then you do need to sit down and talk to him. The best part of a marriage is communication. Without it, you can lose it all, including your mind. It’s time to see your husband as you saw him when you married him and treat him like your best friend. Don’t let your imagination or low self-esteem you may have get the better of you. Those things are your problem, not his.
Make a date, talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling, what you suspect and why. Explain to him what would happen if you found out he is cheating and how that would hurt you and the family you have created together. Tell him you love him and if there is something that is possibly making him unhappy in the marriage.
Sometimes, we suspect an affair before it actually happens because the man is dealing with issues that may or may not relate to you and he deals with it by turning into himself. A man wants to fix things. He has a structural mind and thinks like a floor plan, from the inside out. So that feeling you’ve been having about him is your astute female instinct but it may not be precise if there are other factors involved, like you feeling a little overwhelmed with other things going on in your life. If things are not feeling the same between you, he may just be disconnecting right now and you need to find out why.
He needs to feel that you are his wife, his best friend, and his safe place away from work, from idiots he drives behind all day or people he yells at. You are his soft place to fall and you have to remain open for him, so he can talk to you.
If you did nothing wrong in this marriage, and there has been no recent changes, and you still have that feeling he is being unfaithful, communication will set you free.
If he is cheating on you, you will know it or he will tell you. Unfortunately it is a hurdle some married couples deal with but if you are both strong enough, if your love is strong enough and you have taken this commitment seriously from the beginning, then you face these demons head on and you do it together. You are a team and if you are mutually interested in fixing this, then do it without ever looking back and I promise you, you will get stronger as a woman, as a wife and as a couple.