Children are born with certain traits that are hard-wired, such as temperament and talents, but the parents ultimately shape their children’s personalities and abilities to utilize those traits, report child psychologists and researchers at the Child Development Institute. The quality of the parenting often determines a child’s ability to reach his full potential.
Researchers at the Child Development Institute report that children need sufficient quality time with their parents to mature. Happy, successful adults typically have spent enjoyable bonding time with their parents while growing up. Children crave their parents’ attention and feel special and valuable when they receive it. In addition to quality time with the whole family, each child should be given his own special time alone with each parent. During these interactions, parents develop solid relationships and get to know their children to determine and to develop the individual parenting skills that each child requires.
Frank McGinty, teacher and author of “Family Time Out,” reports that confident parents rear confident and self-possessed children. Parents develop better parenting skills by first shoring up their own self-esteem and belief in their own abilities to parent. Reading child-rearing books and taking parenting courses help boost parenting confidence as well as teach parents tips and techniques for more effective parenting. Support groups and family members also serve as educational sources of instruction and advice for parents.
Stress can lead to poor decisions and rash responses, report social workers who train parents at the High Conflict Institute. When a child engages a parent in battle, typically no winner emerges. Parents learn new ways of bargaining and maintaining control of high-stress situations by finding ways to keep themselves calm and stress-free. When conflict is managed and not taken personally, parents relax and see the tantrum or anger in the child for what it really is–often a ploy at manipulation or a misdirected shot of anger and frustration. Parents also learn to develop better parenting skills by being mentally and physically prepared for the job. Staying in touch with friends and participating in activities that bring them joy and satisfaction help keep them mentally balanced. Eating right and exercising keep parents fit so that children cannot trigger their emotions while they are in a weakened state.