Spotting toxic people prior to being affected by them is not always easy to do, and many cases it isn’t until you have been affected by them that you realize a need to end the relationship. And considering the fact that all human are not perfect, there is a good chance that you have had quite a few different toxic relationships in the past, or even currently. And yes it is best if we can spot an individual who is toxic right off the bat, and learn to avoid too much contact with those people for our own safety, peace, and happiness. Be who you are, with all that you are. And don’t allow others to change you. Toxic individuals will do just that, bring out the worst side of you by pushing your buttons. They also love to frighten, dominate, and diminish you. Acknowledge them when you see them, and learn to ignore them. The more you ignore them and their actions, then they will realize that they are not winning with you, and they will move on to their next victim.
Toxic relationships can come in many different forms. They can be with a co-worker or boss, it can be with a parent or child, a friend, or a lover… to just name a few. These relationships can be short term, lasting for days perhaps; or long term, lasting for years at a time. Some toxic relationships can be simply a pain in your neck or frustrating, and some can be more intense by affecting you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually by changing who you truly are as a person in the long run.
And for those who find that it is too late, and you have found yourself already wrapped up in a tangled mess, there is good news for you. You don’t have to stay in it if you don’t want to. Some people find that it becomes a daily routine, if you will, or a kind of comfort zone. Even though they don’t like it, it is something that they are familiar with, and changing it can seem scary for fear of what might be next in store for them. But think of these things for just a moment… Regardless of who the person is that is toxic, they are harmful to you as a human being in one way or another. And quite possibly harmful to others around you as well. They bring you down emotionally and can even cause lack of self esteem which can affect you for years. They can cause mental turmoil rather you realize it or not, causing your authentic self to suddenly have an unstable foundation for everyday living; even simple decisions can suddenly cause a debate in your head. Of course many people have been in toxic relationships which have been physically abused in many different ways, and unfortunately even some whom became a victim of murder, etc. And last but not least, there are toxic relationships which affect a person spiritually, causing them to completely break down in every way. And too many times, a person may experience all of this, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual just in one relationship only.
Acknowledging the fact that this relationship is toxic is the first step in recovering. Without acknowledgement, nothing will be done to resolve the situation. Acknowledgement includes understanding that this relationship does not work as it is, and that it needs to come to an end. And in many cases it is a permanent ending, not temporary. The reason for this is because in many cases even though you are working to improve yourself, the other individual isn’t working to improve themselves. And so long as they don’t improve themselves, then a continued relationship with this individual will only keep you wrapped up in the turmoil which you long to get out of. In other words, nothing changes.
Diligent action is needed next to develop a plan to remove yourself from the situation that you are currently in with this toxic individual. You may even find it helpful to rely on a close friend or family member to help you through this transition. If you do not have anyone that you can lean on, there are many local, and national organizations, and foundations who may be able to lean a helping hand during this time. After this change has been made for you to live without the limitations of this toxic person, it is now time for you to move forward in life in a positive direction. Find the things that you have been longing to do. Perhaps there are some activities, hobbies, or a new career you’d like to pursue. If so, find the resources which will help you in accomplishing those goals. Try not to reflect on the past with this individual, and certainly don’t allow yourself to feel quilt for taking control of your life. Be who you are, and who you long to be.