Beyond the white dress, perfect tux, and pictures that all show your good side, no one tells the bride and groom that their journey is going to take a lot of work. However it doesn’t mean that the fairy tale of that one day should be over. For many, married life becomes more of an epic tale. It has a great beginning, a long climax, and a happy ending.
Yes, everyone marriage is work and it’s nothing compared to the one that you go to Mondays through Fridays. No, marriages require so much more than a well written resume and a degree; they require 150% from each partner emotionally, physically, spiritually and so on.
Other things that people do not tell you is that to forget about the courtship the led to your marriage. Why? Because in a marriage, it’s not about yourself and how you can impress the other anymore it’s about growing together and how you can impress each other by listening to your significant other. By growing together as one, couples can learn each other’s quirks to help fully understand each other.
Another good piece of advice is to not compare your marriage to someone else’s. While it’s noble of you to take advice from peers and parents, you must make your marriage your own. Your significant other and yourself are unique individuals brought together by an impending amount of attraction. Sure, your parent’s marriage has survived for almost 50 years but you can’t really incorporate the same values into your own marriage because the generation and obstacles are different now compared to back then.
Many people who have been married for a certain amount of years have often thrown the word “survive” towards newlywed couples. The word “survive” should not exist in the vocabulary of marriage because it is not a competition. You didn’t marry each other to survive life. You married each other because of love, compatibility, security, trust, and understanding not because you know that you can survive with or without each other.
One important thing that definitely gets overlooked is the communication factor. This ties into what I have mentioned earlier about forgetting the courtship. In recent observations of myself and other people, it is true that couples who become married change their views on certain things. When one is single, their main focus is to find the perfect someone who can compliment them in every aspect (emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.). Singles hunt, find,consult family and peers, then keep. When a marriage begins, it’s not about the hunting or the he said/she said factor anymore. It just boils down to you and your significant other and what you say to each other that will keep you going strong. In a marriage, communication is key. If couple doesn’t know what the other is trying to say then that means more work needs to be done.
These are the things I think every newlywed should know.