There is truth to the saying that opposites attract

The theory that “opposites attract” is never more evident than in a marriage between an introvert and an extrovert. Can these two personality types, who are polar opposites in their approach to life, survive and thrive in a united partnership?

Extroverts are energized by social interaction. They crave mingling with their peers; their charm and outgoing persona often find them creating opportunities to be with a crowd in all areas of their life. They will naturally gravitate toward careers which require them to be actively involved with the public and their fellow associates.

Introverts, on the other hand, thrive on alone time. They are introspective and do not seem to require the company of others to experience fulfillment in life. Their chosen field of work will often reflect their independent, low key spirit.

It is not unusual for these two distinct personality types to be attracted to each other; almost as if to deliberately seek an individual who complements their own traits, thus creating what is sometimes humorously referred to as their “better half.”

Both extroverts and introverts can possess the qualities necessary to make a marriage work. It is this “marriage criteria” more than difference in personality which will determine which marital partnerships survive and thrive.

The key ingredients upon which the success of a marriage depends:


If a couple practices open and honest communication they will be successful in all facets of their relationship, regardless of their separate personality traits. Communication increases knowledge and understanding of each other’s needs and desires.


In any interaction between individuals, an empathetic nature is a necessary component to accommodating each other’s wishes and feelings. The empathetic person will not feel happy and fulfilled unless he is confident his partner is sharing the same sense of well being.

Common Goals

For a marriage to succeed, the partners will share the same goals. When both want the same things out of life, they will work together to accomplish their dreams.

Ability to Compromise

It is not possible for two separate individuals to think alike all the time. There will be many occasions in every marriage where compromise is necessary. A spirit of compromise is right up there with communication skills as one of the major keys to a successful marriage.

Like Morals and Values

To come together and create a lifestyle, home and family, the couple must share the same standards of behavior, belief system and moral values. It would be unrealistic to expect anything less.


Obviously the persons in a committed relationship have to respect one another. Whether the individuals are introverts or extroverts, mutual respect will allow both to thrive and prevent a “one sided element” to invade the union and threaten the balance of the partnership.

Sense of Humor

This might be the most important component in an intro/extro marriage. The ability to not take oneself too seriously and to find the humor in the quirks and idiosyncrasies of one’s partner will often “save the day” in the relationship of opposites.

Personalities do not play as important a role in the success of a marriage as do the attributes of good communication, empathy, shared goals, compromise, like values and respect. Add a dash of humor and both introvert and extrovert will succeed in achieving a well rounded and fulfilled life together.