In many relationships today, it seems to be irrelevant to dwell on the past in a serious manner. As a matter of fact, this can be a detriment to those relationships, and can lead to a grievous breakdown in communication within a marriage. And with this breakdown, the freedom of self-expression may suffer dire consequences, which may either be temporary or lead to the eventual loss of hard-earned bonds. Whether the past romantic involvement amounts to a triviality, or whether it is seen as a threat to a good situation, the answer in each case is still “no”.
The honest emotion of love is very strong, even to the point of being overwhelming at times. Therefore, many marriages are dominated by the recurring need of the satiation of the desire to “have and to hold”. Any situation that might lead to the repression of this need is usually seen as a threat to mutual trust and satisfaction. This may lead to constant worry which may be viewed by either involved as undue suffering and needless. Frustration may then ensue, and may be characterized by possessive jealousy or anger. Fanning the flames of such volatile possibilities is, at best, unwise; at worst, possibly dangerous to the physical well-being of both involved.
A good rule of thumb here is that if a person doesn’t belong in a marriage, neither do the intimate memories associated with that person. It is an unwelcome taboo to discuss, since the present promises, hopes and dreams have been established as the more important life aspect of both lives. However, the motivation to refrain from such discussions should not be fear as much as it should be out of respect to the new, and hopefully stronger, love. A marriage may have to be tested from time to time, but certain types of comments or confessions may seem to come at inappropriate intervals and viewed as demeaning by either or both partners.
In the case of a wife, telling your husband about a past romantic episode, or episodes, somewhere along the line engenders the spirit of fear and worry. It is then when a husband may come to be considered not only someone to be excluded from some aspects of her life; he may also be considered a possible threat. This can lead to moments of conflict which may, in due time, outweigh the importance of the relationship, perhaps even family.
In light of all this, it may be considered a worthless detriment to any marriage to tell your husband about past romantic involvement. The prime value of life, love and children demands precedence over unresolved personal conflict.
And, in the end, if a wife’s past is important enough to be discussed in a present marriage, why, then, did she not stay true to the last? Consideration of present circumstances is crucial to the success of a marriage and is privately fulfilling. When doubt is introduced, the fulfillment of such moments of introspect is lost.
And, for the majority of married people, the loss of moments such as these is not considered worthy.