Saving your Marriage when you have Children

There are many factors that need to be taken into consideration when making such a drastic choice of either staying with your spouse or getting a divorce. Although it is very true that children need the mother and father figure,’ you must really think if staying with your spouse is the best choice according to the situation. If you are in an environment where there is constant disputes or violence of any kind, you must quickly realize that you are not only tormenting yourself for staying in a hostile environment, but you are also being unfair and in a sense cruel to your children, by forcing them to witness such events.

Being a witness to violence has a greater affect on your children than you may think, from problems in school, lower self esteem, to copying the violent behavior patterns. Violence in a family can greatly diminish a child’s confidence, if you stay in a relationship that is poisonous as this; you are only forcing yourself and your child to live in fear.

Listen to your child, ask them what they think, take note that the decisions you make in your relationship not only affect you but your children as well. If you are having problems in your marriage that are not as severe as to resource to violence, try and talk to your partner, all disputes and differences can and will be resolved without the need of yelling or getting violent. If there is a problem going on between you and your spouse, you must not discuss it in front of your children under any circumstances. Go into your room, or have the kids out to try and sort out your differences. Do not under mind the other parent’s authority over your child either, unless of course it is of a violent nature.

If you have tried everything to amend your relationship with your spouse but still see no significant improvement, try going to a marriage counselor, talk about your problems to a neutral party, it’s ok to get help when problems get out of your hands, there has been a time or another when everyone has had to ask for help. Don’t let fear hold you back, if you really love your spouse and wish to continue with them, you will do whatever possible to fix it, but always keep in mind whether it is the best thing to do in your situation, for you as well as your children.