My Tone Deaf Friend Ship

I love listening to music. Music soothes me when I am down or when I need to boogy and let loose. My taste varies from opera to reggae. I appreciate the sound, rhythm and melody .I just love good music and great singing. Needless to say, I do know when I am not enjoying a piece or when it’s way off key.

Lucky for me, my friend, who is absolutely tone deaf chose me to be her critic for her singing. My smile was hardened as she told me the news because I could almost see the future where she stormed out, sprouting insults in my direction. This could be bittersweet because I would  breathe a sigh of relief because the croaking stopped but I could loose my friend.

Let me be a little more descriptive, just in case you feel I am being harsh. She came over on my day off, a day I welcomed to relax and spend some time with my dog, Serenity. I was pleased, that my girlfriend came to visit, until she told me she was going to do a rendition of Robin Thicke song “lost without you” and that I should critique her performance.

I tried not to look expressionless so that she knows I am listening [while being worried about my eardrum] although I struggled not to look surprise or disapproving, as if I was being attacked by a blow horn. I just sat there with a stiff smile on my face and broaden it whenever we made eye contact. My dog on the other hand could not hold in her disapproval so she ran away into the bedroom. I shrug and made up an excuse in case she ask why Serenity ran away. I was ready to explain away the dog’s action.

Well after just 3 minutes into the song, I heard the phone rang. Thank god, someone up there was looking out for my ear drums.She finished with a huge smile of accomplishment on her face. I hesitated and then said, I like the beginning but I feel I would be better able to evaluate your singing if I could record it. Next Sunday would be great. Next Sunday,  another day of ear torture, ugh!. Well looking at the bright side, this is a temporary escape with our friendship still intact, for now.

The day arrived. She came over all excited. This is her singing debut and she would love to hear her voice play back to her. I am looking forward to using the recording to proof my case so I wouldn’t have to tell her how I truly feel with our friendship still solid. She was rehearsing,  walking around getting comfortable to croak but this time I would record the frog like sound. We began, with the same song by Robin Thicke. It was coming up to the end of the song and some high notes where involved and she made her versions of it until the “singing” was over.

I stopped the recorder and was happy to replay it because I thought it would speak volume about her performance instead of me having to hurt her feelings. I replayed the tape; we listened together,me with a stiff smile and her looking contemplative as if she approved of her singing. From her expression and my face now hurting, I ask her what she thought, hoping she don’t ask me. She said she sounded good but needed to work a little on her pronunciations.

Her pronunciation! how about needing a lot of help learning how to sing. I think my method backfired because I thought for sure she would pick up on the harsh hoarse utterance that was eminating from the recording device.

Ok, enough is enough. I developed the courage, {because I would love to save my ears for beautiful sounds} and I went for it. I said girl, you would be great for karaoke. I would sit in a bar for an all nighter listen to you sing. As for taking it to the next level, like going on audition with American idol, star search or even making a demo tape, please don’t do it!

She looked at me in amazement and said I disagree with your assessment. I jumped in quickly to save our friendship by saying, I am completely certain that with a voice trainer and a lot more practice you will be a star. Please stop trying { I said to myself}. I had to lie to her in the end because our friendship means a lot to me. She’s my girl for 10 years and I refuse to let my opinion ruin our friendship. She felt better with the positive reinforcement I chimed into the conversation. It worked and we are fine. I don’t think she will be asking me for my opinion anytime soon and for that I am truly grateful. I hope she doesn’t ask me for my opinion anytime soon.