I cannot say that there is any one thing that is key to a successful marriage. It takes a blending of so many things to harvest a successful marriage.
I am big on cooking, and have had the opportunity to work next to some 4 star chefs in my life, and so I really appreciate cooking. So, I look at marriage as preparing a 4 star meal. There is more to the preparation of a good meal than just a good kitchen.
Freshness of ingredients is an absolute must in any high-quality meal, and the same rings true for a high-quality marriage. The fresher you keep things in the marriage, the better your marriage will be. When I speak of freshness in the marriage, I mean, don’t get into a routine in your everyday lives together. Be spontaneous, be silly, and have fun with each other. This speaks about activities both outside and inside the house. Men, believe it or not, often times just cleaning up a bit around the house can put you that much closer to an amazing night of sex. And women, wear that fire engine red teddy he likes, or be adventurous and fun in the bed together. This is a huge element of marriage and should be given the necessary spice to keep things vibrant and alive. I know that this can ring true for either gender in what I just said, but this is the typical nature of it as I have heard. Go out and have a fun dinner date, or just go for a walk at the park. Buy some flowers ever so often, and talk a lot about what is on both your minds. I don’t mean complain to each other, as this typically isn’t going to add any good flavor to the time your having. Remember, there are enough elements in the world that can provide you with enough bad tastes. Your marriage shouldn’t be one of those.
Knowing your spices is important in preparing the meal fit for a king or queen. The same in your marriage. Learn each others “spice rack” and know the flavors that tantalize your spouses taste buds. If they love getting little notes from you, then, do this, but remember, the right amount of spice is important as well. You want it to be random and not smothering. Too much of any one spice can kill the overall flavor of a meal. If your spouse likes it when you hold their hand or run your fingers through their hair, or just tell them you love them from time to time, without being prompted for it. In other words, know what your spouse likes and make use of it. It pays off, trust me.
Time is yet another important element. If you cook a meal too short, it will be bad news, and if you cook it too long, charcoal. And nobody likes to find coal in their stockings, now do they? So take time, or be patient, with each other. Sometimes things just need a bit more time for them to be dealt with, and trying to rush it can be disastrous. However, you also have to know when enough is enough. Remember grace in this matter, as it can be volatile if you don’t show care and sensitivity in it.
Which leads me into the next part of the preparation, temperature. The right temperature is needed to ensure the meal is cooked fully. And you definitely need to watch your temperature in dealing with each other. Temperance is a big thing. Though it can be frustrating at times dealing with each other’s imperfections and tantrums. Think of the silver rule,”…don’t do unto others, as you wouldn’t have them do unto you.” If you want patience, then be patient. If you want a hearing ear, then give a hearing ear. If you don’t want to be taken for granted, then don’t take your spouse for granted. If you don’t want to be lacking in affection, then don’t lack in affection with your spouse. And this one is something I have heard much of, and so I will mention it. If you want sex, then give sex.
I have heard it said that women reach their sexual peak around their 40s and men, around their 20s. That means that often times men are hungering for your sexual attention when you women typically aren’t feeling it. But, as I heard a man say once,”What you women give in your 20s, will be returned to you in your 40s.” So be temperate, and learn to give to each other as you would want in return.
And after all this is said and done, then comes the presentation of the meal. After all, presentation makes a huge difference in how your eyes interpret to your mind how the meal should taste. Likewise, presentation plays a part in the marriage as well. In fact, let’s be honest here. A part of the reason you even started the courting process is because you found each other pleasing to the eyes. She liked his physique and he liked hers.
But, what tends to happen in the marriage is that both of you tend to stop presenting for each other. He just dresses like a bum or walks around the house in his briefs and muscle shirt, and she stops trying to impress and the wardrobe become sweatpants and over-sized t-shirts. Ladies and gentlemen, remember to present yourself to each other. Just dress up for no other reason than just to remind your spouse of the reason they noticed you in the first place. Then do this throughout your marriage.
If you can remember this cook’s steps, you will be well on your way to a well-done marriage. So start tonight, and have fun making one delicious dish together, and some great memories along the way.