Husbands and Pornography
I know a lot of women feel threatened when their husbands indulge in the viewing of any type of pornography, be it magazines, movies, or the Internet. They somehow feel its a reflection on them. That it means their husband doesn’t wish to have sex with them but would rather take matters into their own hands. I don’t feel this is the case at all. I’m almost forty years old and I’m happily married. Prior to my husband I spent five years with one man, eight years with another, and in between those long term relationships I had smaller relationships. So I have had experience with men. And that experience has proved to me that ALL men that I have had contact with indulge in some form of porn. Men just cannot seem to help it. They are visual creatures. They seem to need that visualization and then a quick release. I don’t think its any reflection on the love they feel for their wives or girlfriends. I don’t think that it means they find them any less attractive, etc. I think its just the difference between men and women.
My husband and I have a wonderful sex life. Its quite fulfilling and has a vast amount of variety. I feel secure in the fact that he finds me sexually attractive and takes great pleasure out of the times we are together. But I also know that he has his collection of porn tapes and he has a few magazines and I know that sometimes before he goes to work, while I’m still in bed, he makes use of these tools for a quick release. I don’t think this is odd. If anything, I think its PERFECTLY normal. Sometimes men just don’t want to take the time to make love, they just want a quick fast stress reliever and its easier for them to do this themselves. Plus, I think that it somehow helps them to NOT cheat. I think that men like visual variety. I think that porn fills that desire that they seem to have. So they can look at a beautiful woman, full fill a fantasy visually and have the satisfaction that brings without going out and physically pursuing this. Men are just different then women. They desire variety, they seem to need those one night stands and fast flings. But in a monogamous relationship they cannot pursue that natural call so porn answers it for them. As I said, I have had experience with several men besides my husband and they are all the same. So I think that women need to just accept that men and women are often different. Don’t bring it up. Let them have their harmless fun and in the end it will make your relationship stronger and more stable by trying to understand your man. Of course, I know that some men over step this into the world of addiction but that’s a completely different matter. Just like the man who has an occasional beer verses the man who has a six pack a day. There are addicts and there are non addicts. Addicts must be dealt with differently.