How to Build Harmonious Families

If you were to be asked what matter most to you, you would likely say family, relationship, and maybe spirituality, which are the 3 topmost things that most people would likely say as well.

But if you were to honestly and humbly examine how you expend your effort on a daily basis, you will likely find that most of it is geared with a remarkable imbalance towards your career, business, and a host of other not-so-important things like hobbies; movies, TV sitcoms and reality shows; video and computer games; and Internet surfing, Facebook, MSN, chat rooms, and pitifully, pornography. Even without referencing any survey, no one would argue that the world is wasting way too much time than ever before (and yet we complain of not having enough time). We fool ourselves by thinking that the expectations people have of us are unrealistic when all the while we are fully engaged in inconsequential activities that require much more time and effort.

We keep saying that our children are the future and yet keep manufacturing things that are not helping them better prepare for the future; we ignorantly applaud the electronic gadgets that instil an extremely high level of competition in them, things that limit their meaningful communications with others, things that causes them to spend more time in front of unproductive objects instead of people.

By no means may these time-stealers be considered the axis of evil, but the negative impacts on families, relationships, and spirituality is extremely alarming. If in doubt, just take a minute to think of how much time these activities consume (especially) in the western world versus how much time is spent building families, relationships and spirituality. How much time do you spend overworking or watching TV versus how much time you spend with your children intentionally getting engaged in their world academically and socially? How much time do you spend shopping or salivating over things you can barely afford versus how much time you spend on just a stroll with your partner holding hands, admiring each other, the wind, birds, trees and lake? “To put the world right in order”, Confucius once said, “We must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.”

The Inconvenient Truth is that not many people have aligned their available time to what they claim matter the most; not many people invest the necessary time to Enhance their Personality, Energize their Marriage, Equip their Parenting, Enrich their Spirituality and Enliven their Relationships. In fact, it is almost becoming embarrassing to refuse a social invitation on the grounds that you have to go home to be with your spouse and children. In the same way, spending time with God, reading the Bible, praying and participating in other spiritual activities is becoming the top secret of those who do, since no one really wants to mocked for leaning’ on God. Nevertheless, these remain the topmost areas of life that people say matter the most to them. I would rather be found leaning on the Omnipotent God than on any of these time-wasters; worst still, on medications, liquors and drugs, which societies are legally’ prescribing to people who, in most case, just need a friend. What are you leaning on? How much time are you wasting everyday?

As a Life Coach, I have been fortunate enough to work with a lot of people around the world to align their actions with their true innermost desires, and thus, have seen the amazing impact that the simple concept of making and sticking to plans does in people’s lives. If you need help to develop the character muscle necessary to better manage your time without unnecessary stress, send me an email and we will gladly work together to make it happen.

No one on their dying bed regrets not having spent enough time at work, not having watched enough TV, not having spent enough time on the Internet, not having played enough computer games, or not having participated in social activities enough; but the number of people regretting not having dedicating enough time to personal growth, to family (marriage and parenting), relationships and spirituality continues to increase. And I am determined not to be included in these statistics. Ask yourself this moment about the percentage of time you spend on other things versus the time you spend on What Matters Most. It is an exercise that great accomplishers do every day. According to Pope John Paul II, “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” My question to you is what are you doing to make a difference? In the case that you are unaware, a full time employee spends about 75% of their wake time at work; and this excludes the work taken home and the time spent thinking and talking about work outside work. This leaves you with barely 25% of your wake time to focus on What Maters Most. You see that, in fact, you have no time to waste?

My friend, foolishness is a perfect word to describe the misuse of time. Effective time management is not a secret to success; it is an acute imperative for success. If there was ever a time that we should focus on the family, it is now, for time is fast running out. This is why we, at The Exhortation, have been facilitating Marriage Enrichment Forums and Parenting Enrichment Forums for many years. What is more? It is absolutely free for single parents and those who are unable to afford the minimally allotted cost of venue. To have great relationships, you must build one which requires time, effort and a conscious mind.

If you want to keep your job, you would not short-change your employer in the time that you are paid for. It is the same with your family; you cannot wish for a harmonious family if you continuously short-change your spouse and children in the time that God gave you to expend for them.

If you wish to excel at work, you must be open and willing to learn, unlearn and relearn what is required in the line of duty. In the same way, if you wish to Enhance Your Personality, Energize Your Marriage, Equip Your Parenting, Enrich Your Spirituality and Enliven Your Relationships, then you must be open and willing to learn, unlearn and relearn; you must be open and willing to engage and be engaged in these areas of your life; and you must make yourself available to coach and be coached. When it is all said and done, this is the only way that you can find yourself not guilty of the “unconscious” abandonment of those you love your spouse, your children.

You make or break your family and relationships by the amount of time you spend learning and practicing proven techniques of building and maintaining great relationships. Those who were surprised by the divorce offer from their spouse or the allegedly sudden wayward behaviour of their children failed to invest the time necessary to learn and practice techniques of how to keep their families together. This is an Inconvenient Truth!