Gossip is difficult with friends but it’s ten time worse with siblings. A brother or sister who feels the need to gossip within the family is beyond difficult to deal with. It’s not a pleasant experience no matter who is doing the gossiping.
While when you’ve been hit by gossip, it’s not always in the front of your mind, try to remember someone who gossips, sibling or friend, is probably doing it for attention. It’s fairly sad when you think about it. They’ve got to use information from other people’s lives to bring the focus on themselves. It might help in dealing with a gossip to remember this.
If you’ve been blindsided by a gossip and you’ve had enough, it’s a good idea to try to talk it over with the person. With any confrontation, remember to go with “I” statements. Don’t go into the conversation to attack. Go into the conversation with hopes of understanding why your sibling can’t stop talking about everyone else. Make sure to tell your brother or sister you love them but have a hard time with the behavior.
If you’re the type who gets tongue-tied and cannot contain your emotions during a family showdown, it might be better to write a letter to your gossiping sibling. Again, in your letter, be sure not to be accusatory. Ask questions and write your feelings down. And again, of course, express your love for the person you’re confronting.
If you have issues you want to talk about, don’t do it with the gossiping sibling. Just be careful what you tell them. If there’s something going on in your life you don’t want your mother to know and you know your sister will tell it to her, just don’t tell your sister. We all want to be able to confide in our family members but we know, even when when a gossip promises not to tell, they will. This does work in reverse, though. If you do want your mother to know something but you don’t want to be the one to tell her, this is the time to employ the gossip trait in your sister.
If all else fails
If even after the confrontation or letter, the person continues to talk behind everyone’s back and spill secrets you’ve asked them not to, it might be time to change your tactic with them. Don’t only change your tactic but let them know you’ll no longer share certain parts of your life with them because you know they will not keep it to themselves. When someone behaves in a manner we don’t like, the only real way around it is to change our behavior. Knowing you can’t change someone’s actions or thought patterns is the first step to a healthier, happier you.