When I was a kid, I was a big fan of Dynasty and The Colbys. LOVED them. And Dallas (even though I was only about 9 years old and used to be mortified if there was any kind of love scene since I was watching it with my mum). And now I could be living in any of the above. There is always some family drama going on. Sadly without the money and hot men (Michael Praed anyone?). Although, no shoulder pads or perms either, so I guess its not all bad…
Does that make my family dysfunctional? Read on, and you tell me…
My day today has involved people close to me having:
1. a car accident (thankfully no major injuries)
2. BIG rows, worthy of Joan Collins and anyone she ever slapped, almost resulting in relationship meltdown (still might)
3. tears, tantrums and frantic phone calls and textathons because of 1 and 2 above
4. and (me) having to have an uncomfortable conversation with my son’s new tennis coach since it turns out I previously ran off with her best friend’s husband*
I swear I am not making this up. The notion for a glass of wine is upon me (no wonder), but it is merely a notion. I am not obsessing or needing it. For those of you who don’t know me, this is the part where I should tell you I have a long history of depression and am a recently diagnosed alcoholic. And you should be pleased to learn that I am gonna settle instead for a cuppa and a bar of chocolate this evening.
I think every family “functions” one way or another. Mad as my family may appear at times, I think we function ok. Relationship breakdowns and emotional meltdowns do not change the fact that all of us immediately contact another in times of trouble, need, or news – good or bad, happy or sad. And all of us have learned – the hard way – that blood really is thicker than water. Whatever relationships have come and gone in our lives, we have always been parents, children, brothers, sisters and friends to each other. Sometimes closer than others. Sometimes wanting to be very far apart! But a family nonetheless. And we always will be.
*this is true. I have been the “other woman” more than once. I am not proud of having become involved with someone else’s man. Any of the times I have done so. And I will not make any excuse other than to say I have suffered from depression and alcoholism for many years and have not been aware of the effect on my own judgement, morality, and related behaviour. However. I know now. And that part of my life is well and truly over. It has been for a while actually, and I have a (painful) cross tattoo to remind me just in case I’m ever tempted again… I am now working the Steps, which includes me making a list of all the people I have harmed, being prepared to make amends to them all, and actually doing so where possible without hurting anyone. I have not gotten to those steps yet, but I know they are coming and I am committed to working them to guarantee my own sobriety, sanity and life. Because I need to “function” as a mum, daughter and sister and whatever other roles I may assume in my own family.